EOC: My Voice

Growing up my parents were really poor and we had to sleep in hotel rooms for months on end and constantly stay at many different family members homes basically inconveniencing everyone around us but my parents still worked as hard as they could to give us everything we wanted whether it be a Christmas present, an education or just to keep us fed. Even though my dad never really had money to give away or share he never hesitated to help others around him who had even less than he did. Seeing my parents struggle greatly but still try to help others who had less than them has made me the person I am today.  Most people probably wouldn't say that they are happy or grateful to have been extremely poor at some point in their life but  I am, it taught me about what is truly important in life and that kindness goes a long way. Without growing up the way I did I wouldn't know the value of family or wealth and definitely wouldn't be the kind, hardworking girl that I am today and I wouldn't have learned so much from my parents. After my dad passed away a few years ago my mom knew she needed to try even harder to give my siblings and I the life she knew we deserved and now we live in huge house in a beautiful neighborhood and she did it all on her own and I couldn't be more proud of her. My dad passed away my freshman year of high school due to police brutality. I remember that night like it was yesterday, my mom cam home without him which was really unusual because they did literally everything together so when she came home and he wasn't with her I knew something was wrong. She came into the house with my grandparents and I asked her where my dad was and she looked me in the eyes and said "he's gone, they killed him" I chuckled due to shock/disbelief and proceeded to ask the question once more and she began to cry and answered the question same as before and all I remember was screaming and my family members grabbing me because I trying to run out of the house. I wanted to run because I thought if I ran then I could run away from all of my problems and everything would be okay if I did so if that makes any sense. Once it all "set in" that my dad was never coming home I stayed in my bedroom for a whole week. When I finally began to go to school again I became uninterested in everything and became distant with friends and family. I started seeing a grief therapist and things didn't seem as bad as I was making them for myself. Yes, I lost the most important man in any girls life but I know my dad wouldn't have wanted me to be as sad or "depressed" as I was, he would've wanted me to enjoy my first year of high school and that's what I did. It still hurt and felt weird that he wasn't and isn't around but like they say "time heals all wounds". I'll be honest and say that time will never heal this wound but it'll come very close to doing so. As the years go on and I go through things that I know he would've wanted to be present for such as dropping me off at my prom, my high school graduation, or even walking me down the aisle one day my heart hurts and the wound seems to get deeper even if its just for a second. I miss my dad very much, we butted heads often but he was my best friend. He taught me amazing things in his life time most of the time not even with his words but with his actions and I will thank him for everything till the day I die and I will teach my siblings who weren't fortunate enough to have gotten as much time with him as I did. By just looking at me I'm sure you wouldn't have guessed that I have been through so much in so little time which is why they say "never judge a book by its cover" because you never really know someone by just looking at the way look or act. Since when I was growing up we didn't have a lot of money I never thought my dream of becoming a stylist or designer would have come true. Usually when you're young your childhood dreams die along the way, you know like when kids dream of becoming astronauts or firemen but I'm glad mine never did and that I'm actually following through with what I've always wanted.